Daters want to leave body count stigma in 2023, eharmony says

2024 isn’t here quite yet, but daters are already working on their “sexolutions,” according to eharmony. The longtime dating app released its latest Dating Diaries, a report on how 1,600 adults 21 and over surveyed in late September and early October this year feel about sex and love. All participants are either dating, in a relationship, cohabitating, or married, and results were weighed to be nationally representative by age, gender, and region.

Among participants’ sexy new year’s resolutions were eliminating “body count” stigma. Most, 67 percent, of singles don’t plan on asking their next partner how many people they slept with, and only 24 percent think the number actually matters.

In the new year, 19 percent of singles overall (and 26 percent of Gen Z singles) want to experiment with more sex positions. They’ll need to be able to open up to do so, but that’s a challenge for Gen Z, who were least likely of the generations to communicate sexual wants verbally after sex with a partner (40 percent). Thirty-six percent of Gen Z, however, are prioritizing sexual communication going into the new year. (If you want to prioritize this, too, head to Mashable’s guide on setting sexual boundaries.)

“The strength of our connection with partners isn’t dependent on how much experience we bring to the table, or even the frequency of sex. When it comes to building intimacy, it’s the quality of our communication that has the greatest impact on whether or not we will leave an interaction feeling fulfilled,” said eharmony relationship and sex expert Casey Tanner in the press release.

“Because many of us have learned that it’s not okay to speak openly about sex, we may find ourselves on a steep learning curve when it comes to discussing our sexual desires — and that’s okay,” Tanner continued. Instead of shaming yourself (even further), Tanner advises to commit to trying something new and staying curious about how it feels.

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“Try discussing your feelings about sex while taking a walk, rather than right after sex or while sitting face to face,” Tanner suggested. “Create a sexual bucket list and move through one idea at a time. Stay away from performance-oriented goals, and find pleasure in the process of getting to know yourself in this new light.”

Meanwhile, there’s still very much an orgasm gap: 32 percent of participants in relationships always orgasm with a partner, but 61 percent say an orgasm is very important. A quarter (25 percent) have even ended a relationship if they weren’t able to orgasm with a partner; millennials were most likely to do so (31 percent). Millennials also slept with more people than any other generation in 2023, according to eharmony, and 38 percent want more sex in 2024.

eharmony also identified several dating trends — like how almost half (48 percent) of Gen Z singles have dating regrets this year, and their top regret is wishing they prioritized themselves over dating (37 percent). Their top dating goal for 2024 is to find a long term relationship (49 percent), followed by dating intentionally (47 percent).

“To get out of a dating regret rut, daters are intentionally setting up 2024 differently,” said eharmony relationship expert Laurel House. “In order to reset and restart in a healthy way, daters should take a broader look at all of their dating encounters, and realize that in order to change your love life, your associations, actions, and attitudes must align with your renewed mindset.”

Millennials are prioritizing strong relationships; nearly half, 49 percent, want a healthier relationship in 2024. Twenty-seven percent of millennial singles wish they had been more proactive with a crush in 2023.

Thirty percent of all couples want to explore their sexuality more, while 20 percent overall (and 28 percent of Gen Z couples specifically) want to engaged or married.

Finally, eharmony identified the 2024 “dating leagues” — aka the top qualities singles are looking for in their partners. Gen Z singles, of which 30 percent prefer to date people “out of their league” (whatever that means), three traits they’re most looking for in a partner is emotional intelligence (28 percent), humor (23), and intelligence (16).

Millennials are a little different; 73 percent of millennial singles have dated someone “out of their league” at some point. Now, the top three traits they’re looking for in a partner in 2024 is also emotional intelligence (26 percent), followed by intelligence (19) and physical attractiveness (15).

“Gen Z and Millennials are becoming culture shifters in regard to mental health, quality of life, and healing,” said eharmony relationship expert Minaa B. in the press release. “It makes sense that their interests in a partner are rooted in qualities such as emotional intelligence, humor, and intellect.”